One Week To Go

ONE MORE WEEK!!!!

I can't wait to go on vacation with my friends. In a week's time I will be on the plane to meet my friends in Singapore and off we go to the land of the Taj Mahal.

It took us a year to plan this trip and now that its here the week-long wait seems so LLLLOOOOONNNNGGGGG!!!!

This vacation is exciting for me in so many levels. First, the four awesome girls (DJ, Lysh, Meine and Elaine) will once again be reunited and partying the night away in Singapore! :-) I cannot wait to be with my friends again.

After Singapore, we will be flying to New Delhi, India. WHOA! We will be going around Rajasthan for 10 days! I'm so EXCITED! I've been shopping and preparing for our trip and I'm so excited.

My friend Meine flew to Germany last Mondays and will head to Paris in a couple of days. We'll meet in Singapore soon but I miss her already. hahaha!

Enough... I shall work out now. Can't wait to post pictures and tell you all about my trip next time.

Learning to say goodbye

I realized something new about myself today... I don't know how to say goodbye!

It's a Saturday night and it is pretty unusual for me to be at home at this time of the night but running around The Fort the whole day wore me out. (We organized an Amazing Race event for our Singles Community and it was a lot of fun!) So, I decided to just stay home and rest. Luckily, I caught the movie, Tuesdays with Morrie. At the end of the movie, I realized why I keep on holding to the past... I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY GOODBYE!

When a friend leaves for another country and I will not see her for a long time, I don't really know how to say good bye so I just think that I will see her again next week. I used to be easily attached to people, things, events... After learning how they can hurt you or leave you, I have learned how to detach myself somehow but that does not solve my problem. I detach but I don't say goodbye.

I guess that maybe one of the reasons why I still have a hard time completely letting go of past hurts and relationships. I don't know how to just say good bye and let it go.

I have loved someone so amazingly that its taking me years to get over him. The funny thing is, I don't think I have been able to say goodbye completely to that relationship. How? I'm really nto sure. I can't put it behind completely.

The question now is, how do you really say goodbye? Do you say good bye by forgetting the past? Do you say goodbye by remembering what you had and then just moving on? I think I hold on to the past too much... I'm scared that it might not happen to me again. And yet, I am scared too that it might and I might be not aware that it is happening already because I have not yet said goodbye to what has been good.

The Crazy Things I Do

Initially, I used this site to write about my sadness, longing, desires and pathetic feelings. I realized (after reading Sam's comments) that this site was open for everyone to read. Took me a few minutes to realize that I forgot to turn off the viewing permissions.

For some time now, I have been looking for a venue to keep a journal of my crazy activities and put photos. I am glad that there is finally this site. Anyhow, I'd like to share a few crazy things that I have done in the past through this blog. I will try to make it a point to write about much about myself... how I feel and not only when I feel lonely.

Ok... a few things about me. I love the beach! I can't get enough of Boracay! Ok... maybe not during holy week when the entire country goes to that island... but I try to visit my favorite island twice a year. The best part... happy hour at Nigui Nigui while watching the sunset.




I love boxing. It keeps me fit. I'm not sure yet how serious I am with sparring or going on the ring to fight someone but I plan to do this as often as I can. I love the work out and the sweat. :-)

I love exciting water sports and activities. I enjoy scuba diving mostly because of the peace and relaxed feeling when I am on the boat or sitting by the beach watching the waves and the water.

DJ, Meine and Elaine -- my wonderful friends

Friends have come and gone in my life but when you have friends as great as these three people, you know these are the friends that you will cherish and be with for a really long time!

DJ -- Diana Jean Reyes... one of a kind person. I thought I was hyper and energetic but this person's one woman show and her ability to entertain herself is unbelievable! :-) Very smart, intelligent... a great listener and someone who can give you the best insights. Even if she is in Singapore, the distance never really put a dent in our friendship. I call her when I feel sad or when I just need someone to chit chat with. We are journeying right now in finding out more about ourselves. What makes us happy, our passions and our purpose in this life. I love being with her because she puts some sense into me. We laugh about a lot of crazy things and I enjoy her passion in trying out different things.

Elaine -- Its funny how we were college classmates and yet we only started hanging out 4 years after we graduated. We met again at a point in our lives when we needed each other most. I know that she will fight for me until the end. If there's anyone who will stand up for me and will make sure that I don't get hurt, it is Elaine. She maybe a bit crazy at times but I know that she really loves me.

Meine -- the epitome of coolness. She is more than my dinner buddy she is my great listener and she doesn't let me wallow. She sees the good side of things all the time and only wants the best for her friends... Very few things bother this girl... she loves to relax and tries to live life to the fullest. This girl hates stress, thus, she is my great balancer. Her smile never fades. She reminds me all the time how beautiful and relaxing life is. We both love to travel and meeting new people, thus, we enjoy sitting in a coffee shop... chit chatting until late at night. We will never stop building memories together and enjoying each life experience as we talk about it all the time.

I love them! Elaine and DJ are both in Singapore now. Meine and myself are here in Manila. A few more weeks and we will be hanging out again... partying in Singapore. I miss them. I miss them a lot. I love them very much.

This year... INDIA!!!!

Last year... CAMBODIA and THAILAND. This year... INDIA and SINGAPORE!!!

We are truly blessed to have this chance to be able to travel around the globe with our friends. It is such an amazing experience!

After a wonderful trip to Cambodia, our group already started thinking of our next destination. We always want to try the most exotic countries and places that we won't be able to enjoy when we get older.

So, this year, we all decided to go to INDIA! Two weeks of vacation is fantastic. We're all very excited. A few more weeks and we'll be heading to Singapore and then, India!

I know its going to be crazy because of the smell and they say that its really dirty but it would be one hell of an experience just being with friends and experiencing something really awesome while learning about their culture and seeing the best places in that country.

The picture here (one of our thousands of pictures! hahaha!) was taken in Bayon Temple in Cambodia last year. This year won't be different. I'm pretty sure that we will have tons of pictures as well. More pictures of our Cambodia- Thailand trip in http://www.pbase.com/lysh/cambodia.

I can't wait!!! :-) And... Boracay in December! Whoa!

Lyshiel

Is It Really A Part of A Plan?

A friend mentioned that my single status is part of a PLAN. I'd like to believe it is... but is it really true?

Having been through a number of relationships... unsuccessful, obviously, I now question what it really takes to have and stay in a good relationship. Is it a matter of timing? Is it a matter of being the right person? Is it a matter of going to the best places to meet him? Do you really work on finding someone or does it just happen? People would say... RELAX... it will happen... Easy for them to say! They are in great relationships! hehe!

When I look around, I see a number of great looking and wonderful single people. I ask myself, if they can't find a good relationship, what are my chances of finding one?

Well, as they say, better to be patient than to be in a wrong one (relationship).... I totally agree with this. I've been in a number of wrong ones to actually belive this statement. I am tired of being in relationships that will makes me bawl over a glass of wine or make me cry myself to sleep.

The pain that those relationships inflicted on me made me a bit jaded in the way I see relationships. However, I would like to believe that I am still very much a romantic. As Carrie said in the last episode of Sex and the City (yes, I cried while I listened to hear say this!), I want an all-consuming love, a can't live without you kind of love... I think, no matter how independent and liberated one is, she desires this... She desires to be treated like a princess, to be treated with respect and to be loved like nobody has ever loved them before.

Yes, I still am a romantic... dreaming of walking in Paris with the man I love... sitting down in a cafe in Italy and just staring in each other's eyes... watching a movie, cuddling on the couch... sitting on the beach watching the sun set... reading a book on a lazy Sunday afternoon... sitting on his lap while waiting to board a plane... looking in his eyes and just loving every moment of having him in my arms... wiping his sweat with my towel after a good work out... hugging me from behind while we are hanging out with our friends...

Funny, Bel -- a friend of mine, mentioned her silly dream which is my silly dream as well. Imagining the big smile of my face when I change the status on my friendster from "Single" to "In a Relationship". Silly, yes... :-) but its a start of something beautiful. Being able to tell the whole world how much I love a person and how much he loves me as well... being with someone who will be proud of me unlike my past two relationships. (Wow! Just thinking of how they were ashamed for people to know about our relationship still stings my self-esteem!). I am praying though that the next man who will come into my life will be proud of me... because I think I am worth it.

I really hope it happens to me one day. I believe its part of the PLAN. God did not let me stay in those bad relationships because He knows that I deserve better. He made me realize my learnings from those relationships so I can look forward to a much better one. This time, I will try not to be impatient and accept the things as they happen to me. I will fall in love again, and when that happens, we will be proud about our relationship because we will find each other in the right time, in the right place... because it is part of God's plan.

Learning something new about me

I had a very interesting weekend.

Last night, I had drinks and dinner with my friend Chia. Over a bottle of beer and an X-rated drink, I found out something about myself that I have known for quite sometime. I realized that as I get older, flexibility in dealing with your own character tend to be a bit more difficult than before. Maybe because the younger years were really to form who you are and now that of your character is pretty much set, shifting or adjusting can be a bit of a challenge.

One thing I like about me is that I am very energetic. I'm excited and passionate about things and it is pretty contangious. The downside of it though is I need to find time to relax and to just let go. I do it sometimes but not all the time. I need to learn how to not sweat the small stuff. :-)

I have said time and again that I don't think I will have a boyfriend or get married ever. Deep down, I know, this isn't true. I know God has a plan for me and being single now has a reason. A pretty good one at that too... I should stop saying that I will never have a relationship again. I should just trust that what I am going through now is part of a plan. I need to believe that it is part of a bigger plan. Something good will happen to me very soon.

I realized too last night, that I have a problem with being contented. Although it is somehow good that I keep striving for more, I dont appreciate completely what I have at the present moment. One of my fears is being in a relationship and I would eventually get bored. I fear this... I've been there and I don't want to go back to that. I don't want the drama anymore as well (God knows how much I went crazy for a couple of years.) but I want the excitement in the relationship. I'm afraid that the guy that I will be with will be someone I will be with day in and day out and I might get tired of being with him all the time. Sounds pretty weird, huh?

Seriously, when I see couples who are wrapped up with each other and their relationship, I find them so boring and hopeless. I am praying that I find someone who will make me feel loved and we continue to improve each other by engaging in different activities, sports, classes, travelling together and by our life experiences that we have separately and as a couple. I don't want to get bored. I continue to be interesting to my partner and I want him to be just as interesting as he was on the first day we met.

Tonight, I had dinner at a really good chinese restaurant in Greenbelt. I meet a couple of new people and I really enjoy talking to them and hanging out with them. One is Cha and the other is Craig.

Everytime I go out, I get a clearer picture of what type of guy I want to be with. I think my standards are high but I dont want to settle. God made everything happen so I meet the right guy at the right time so I'll try not to screw it.

Lyshiel