Learning something new about me

I had a very interesting weekend.

Last night, I had drinks and dinner with my friend Chia. Over a bottle of beer and an X-rated drink, I found out something about myself that I have known for quite sometime. I realized that as I get older, flexibility in dealing with your own character tend to be a bit more difficult than before. Maybe because the younger years were really to form who you are and now that of your character is pretty much set, shifting or adjusting can be a bit of a challenge.

One thing I like about me is that I am very energetic. I'm excited and passionate about things and it is pretty contangious. The downside of it though is I need to find time to relax and to just let go. I do it sometimes but not all the time. I need to learn how to not sweat the small stuff. :-)

I have said time and again that I don't think I will have a boyfriend or get married ever. Deep down, I know, this isn't true. I know God has a plan for me and being single now has a reason. A pretty good one at that too... I should stop saying that I will never have a relationship again. I should just trust that what I am going through now is part of a plan. I need to believe that it is part of a bigger plan. Something good will happen to me very soon.

I realized too last night, that I have a problem with being contented. Although it is somehow good that I keep striving for more, I dont appreciate completely what I have at the present moment. One of my fears is being in a relationship and I would eventually get bored. I fear this... I've been there and I don't want to go back to that. I don't want the drama anymore as well (God knows how much I went crazy for a couple of years.) but I want the excitement in the relationship. I'm afraid that the guy that I will be with will be someone I will be with day in and day out and I might get tired of being with him all the time. Sounds pretty weird, huh?

Seriously, when I see couples who are wrapped up with each other and their relationship, I find them so boring and hopeless. I am praying that I find someone who will make me feel loved and we continue to improve each other by engaging in different activities, sports, classes, travelling together and by our life experiences that we have separately and as a couple. I don't want to get bored. I continue to be interesting to my partner and I want him to be just as interesting as he was on the first day we met.

Tonight, I had dinner at a really good chinese restaurant in Greenbelt. I meet a couple of new people and I really enjoy talking to them and hanging out with them. One is Cha and the other is Craig.

Everytime I go out, I get a clearer picture of what type of guy I want to be with. I think my standards are high but I dont want to settle. God made everything happen so I meet the right guy at the right time so I'll try not to screw it.

Lyshiel