Thursday, April 21, 2005

Depression? What's next?

Depression and loneliness has struck me these past few days. It is not easy being single and having most of my friends overseas or busy with their work, I had to fend for myself.

As you know, girls love to chat and whine their blues away. I used to always be out with my friends to get away from the sadness of realizing that I dont have the last text of the day. I think anyone who has been single and longing to have a partner understands what it means to miss having the first SMS in the morning and the last good night before going to bed.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being single. In fact, I love it. I think its one of the greatest gifts that God has ever given me. Not a lot of people are gifted with this chance. An opportunity to truly live a single life! Being able to have your own money, independence, friends, parties and different kinds of life adventures. The beauty of having your own time! Being able to do what you want to do without attachments. Wow! How liberating!

Well, I can say that now after some time of reflection and reading... I can say that I embody the new Filipina woman. Independent, adventurous, fashionable, strong willed and yet feminine in more ways than one. You can say that I am the liberated Filipina. I used to be very conservative until I came out of my shell with a bang! Believe me, even that was a growth experience.

Ok... ok... let's go back to my depression and how I am slowly getting out of it... I was depressed and lonely and I knew that I had to get out of it.... and fast! I hate being sad... it's not me... I like the energetic, always on the go girl that I am... I love smiling and making people smile. I like looking good and having people look at me with smile in their faces noticing that that's one happy person.

The past few days, I just wanted to cry. I felt like I was alone. I had no one to share my successes, frustrations and stories with . So, I am out on my mission again to find something that will distract me from my sadness. I looked for new things that I can get into. I dug up all the things that I know will fulfill my passion. And there I went to the dance studio to inquire about belly dancing classes, I went to Powerbooks to get books that will empower me in my current state. I had to be inspired and I had to get my passion back.

God's so good! He showed me the book on "How to be a woman of passion -- How to be the joyous woman of God". I just started the book and it's looking good. I'm also in the middle of reading the book of Iyanla Vanzant called "In the Meantime". I think its very entertaining but I have yet to get to the meat. The book of Bo Sanchez called "You can make your life Beautiful" can really lift up your spirits. I am also reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho for the nth time.

You see... when you are depressed, acknowledge it and admit that you are but don't be stuck there. Want to get out of it and get out of it! Do everything in your power to make sure that your depression becomes your tool to achieving more and doing more. Everything exists for a reason. I think depression happens because you have to find out more about you and take one step forward in everything in your life. Do things that you have always delayed doing... Take courses that interests you... Learn a new skill... Get into a new hobby.... You are single... you have all the time in the world to do all these things.

When you have learned more, experienced more and matured more, you will definitely feel more confident... with or without a man, you have already accomplished something that a lot of people only dream of doing.

Be the best single person that you can be... meet people and have fun! Channel your energy unto things that will give you more confidence and attract the kind of man that is worthy of a fun, exciting and interesting woman like you!