Motherhood Preparation

 


    Motherhood is a blessed calling. I see it in my Mom and I see it in our friends.  Its not the easiest job on earth but they all say that its rewarding.

  Personally, I am petrified of the idea of being a mother. Sure, I understand that it is the greatest legacy you can leave on this planet. It is also the fulfillment of womanhood. YADA! YADA! YADA! BUT... yes, but... it will take away time from my husband and will drastically change the relaxed life that we are living now. I love my husband to pieces and I still enjoy our quiet time together. I don't know how it will change our lives and I don't know how open I would be about sharing my husband's time for me and vise versa.

  Sure I love the babies of our friends and I love my niece dearly.... but after spending some time with them and returning them to their parents, I relish the fact that Glenn and I will come home to a quiet house. Where the two of us can watch tv in peace and decide to go for ramen or coffee at 1:00 am. Hmm... I think I am enjoying being a wife to Glenn too much. haha!

  On the other hand, there is this feeling that if we don't have a baby now, we might regret it eventually. And yet another fear, what if when we decide to have it baby, there are complications in the pregnancy. Too many fears... too many uncertainties... too many!

   There are days when I am excited to hold our baby in my hands and build our family with my wonderful husband with me in the whole journey. But I don't know if I am ready for more than a day of motherhood.

  Yes, I am selfish and I still want to travel the world and be alone with my husband 24/7 but I do pray and trust that God has bigger plans in store for us.  I do pray for my future children that they be a bunch of joyful and grateful people with loving and caring hearts. I do pray for my husband that he still has the energy to keep up with our running toddlers. I pray for my body that I will be ready to receive God's gift for us, in His perfect timing.

  Some photos from www.morphthing.com of possible faces of our babies. Not bad. I just wish this is a guarantee of what our babies would look like. :-)