Monday, December 18, 2006

Chillin' at Christmas

It's been years since I spent Christmas with a boyfriend. Not a big change but definitely brings a big smile on my face. Christmas is the same and yet different. I'm telling you... Ed brings balance into my life!

The crazines of buying presents, the Christmas rush is the same but the relaxing moments of being home and just watching tv with Ed is also a wonderful way to celebrate Christmas season. We listen (and occassionally watch) the fireworks of Glorietta every night... a perfect mark of the happy season.

I still hear the dawn mass in Don Bosco Church and feel the cold breeze of a December morning. These are the beautiful part of Christmas that I love.

Since I got my stove and oven fixed, I've been experimenting in the kitchen a lot. I made Garlic and Rosemary Chicken last Friday with potatoes and steamed vegetables on the side.

Last night was a bit of a disaster... hahaha! I'm sure my friend Elaine would laugh at my disastrous experiment. The tuna pasta salad I made was not exactly specatacular but Ed being his loving self said its still tastes ok. Hahaha! No wonder I love him tons.

The super hyper active me is thinking, why am I not going gaga this Christmas season. Yet, another part of me agrees with enjoying this time of year without the need to stress. Enjoy the company of Ed, family and friends... have fun buying gifts. Traffic and the hordes of people in the mall will still be there but there is a side of Christmas that can be easily forgotten. God is in the peace and calm. You'll hear him better that way.

There are so many things I'd like to do next year and its good to start the season right by having a calm and peaceful holidays and then starting 2007 with a bang. :-)

Thursday, December 14, 2006

From the Stillness of the Soul

When the sun is setting, it's light reflects on the surface of the water. The sky turns into a subdued orange with the clouds adding texture to an already magnificent canopy. I feel a serenity in my soul. It calms me. It brings balance into my life.

Balance. It's been a long time since that word struck a cord in me. Since I celebrated my 30th birthday, this word has sprung up every now and then.

As I read the word in an article on the day of my birthay, what entered my mind is that I need to start having a balanced diet and hit the gym. I felt a need to take care of my health and part of a more balance diet and excercise regimen, I lessened my smoking to the barest minimum. Thus, I am now on a healthier diet and excercises more than sitting in a coffee shop. I thought, ok... I now have a balanced life.

Little did I know that it's just the beginning. Moving out of my parents' house and living on my own, I have lesser time spent with my family than I had before. Suddenly, I found myself going back home on weekends and terribly missing the times I would sit on the breakfast table and have everyone yakking about what happened to them the night before. Time and again, I have said how important family is to me and yet I spend more time with my friends. I look forward to quality family time with my parents and my siblings now. I'm excited to see them and hear their stories. I try to spend weekends in my parents house just so I can have breakfast with them and hear the annoying high pitched and loud voices every now and then. :-)

I often equated who I am with my career accomplishments. I have worked my ass off since I started working that I am proud of what I have made of my self. Nothing wrong with that as long as it is in moderation. I have noticed though that I put a lot of my self worth with what I have achieved. To the point that I feel worthless when things are not doing well at work. I thought that how people perceive my work is how I should see myself too. I guess at a certain point, I have to accept that things go wrong even if I do my darned best. I will love myself not because of how high up in my career i have reached but because of the kind of person I have become.

From trips to my hobbies to the partying... I'm not one to settle for the mediocre. It has to be grand or extremely different for me to see the joy in it. As I see it, as long as people are amazed at it, then it makes me happy and shows what kind of person I am. Not that I have completely missed the simple things in life. I still enjoy them, but there should be something different all the time to keep it more interesting. It always has to be something new. I get shaken to the core when there are no new things happening in my life. It feels like I live a very uneventful life. Up til these past few days, I have been jolted by the fact that there are times when things can't be grand, when I have to see the beauty in the simple things, extract the beauty out of the routine, enjoy the ordinary. I will still want my grandeur and newness in things but I also need to see the happiness in simplicity without being boring.

Balanced life. As I watch the sunset and the sky becomes dark, I welcome the night time. Finding the excitement in the stillness and peace of the dark. Armed with the realization that I have a wonderful life, blessed by God, there's peace in my life as I listen to the stillness of my soul.